I had a dream last night that my boyfriend died. People kept telling me it'd be okay, they were there for me, time would heal it; but it all went in one ear and right out the other. I couldn't believe he was gone. I couldn't imagine life without seeing him ever again. I kept asking who would hold me when i was scared and sad. I kept trying to tell myself he'd come back any second and it was all a lie. I kept crying.
Then i woke up.
My heart was racing, i had tears running down my face, and i was gasping for air.
The dream was so vivid, it took a moment to realize it was fake.
I've never been so scared.
But it made me think what it's like for those who deal with that in real life. I've never been able to tell them it'll be okay, because i know deep down it's not. But..what can i say to them?
I know i'll be dealing with a fair amount of death in my life time, since death is inevitable for everyone. Honestly, it scares me. My puppy passed away 5 weeks and 1 day ago, and i still cry just as hard now as i did then. I don't know how well i'll handle the others.
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